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MOTHER'S DAY POEM / ABOUT HAYLEES LIFE  / Mommy Of Baby Girl Haylee (Mother)
 
From the moment I felt you I loved you, unconditionally,
As I made plans to hold you, rock you, and breast feed you:
You were tiny and helpless as you were small ,
Hush., Hush...This happens all day every day, it’ll be fine.         
This is what the doctors and nurses told us: 
as we were nervous and they were not. 

After 18 hours of brutal labor it was time to be born. 
Your sweet, beautiful & Angelic face was laid first 
on top of my stomach This allowed me & your father 
to see you together for the first time, Breathtaking 
at your sight, we both cried at your beauty and your health.         
Saying” God Bless” we were thanking God for our gift of love. 

At a simple Barbecue with family and friends. 
My sweet 4 Year old baby girl, was left with her step-
grandmother , to watch her while she swam. 
This was so I could go inside and change my younger 
sons diaper and wet clothes for the ride home. 
But she left Haylee alone outside unsupervised and 
Haylee, beautiful,beautiful Haylee drowned alone & affraid.. 

Trust – I trusted her to watch my baby for a few moments. 
Be careful who you feel to be trustworthy. 

I can't believe after all this time, I can't get over Haylee Girl,
I guess a love like ours is one of a kind, a love that is true.
It's been almost 1 full year sense you left: 
To join Heavens Angels Do you still remember me? 

It's like a bad dream that plays over & over in my head,
Of things I wish I'd done or words I would of said.
There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you,
Even after all this time, what am I going to do?
Maybe this is the way Mommy’s are suppose to feel,
Perhaps our wounds are never intended to heal.
If I could ask but one question to God –this would be it:

”How is it God that you could need Haylee more than I?” 

                                                             



Spring -Mommy & Haylee
           Happy Days
                        Long Gone  Just Memories now











                                         
Why My Child - Mommy  / Mommy Of Haylee Girl (Mommy)

10 Months Today 
My sweet baby girl, Haylee. I miss you more than any words could possible say. My life has changed in many ways throughout time but the loss of you, my baby girl has changes my soul, my faith and my ability to hope. For such a small miracle you brought so much to everything and everyone you met.. Happiness, joy, companionship, gentleness, love of God & his teachings and unconditional love for everyone, you felt that everyone deserved to be loved so you loved them, I was blessed to have had so much of your love all to myself. Today marks 10 months that you have been gone from me & those that love you. I sit here and cry in shame that I have lasted these 10 months without you. I can barely breathe without crying for you to come home, but I now that this is impossible, I will be the one going home when we next meet, I hope that I am strong enough to be a good mother to Thomas as you were a daughter & sister to us. We love & miss you each day with agonizing hearts.



Why My Child

10 months ago today my little girl Haylee was carried away,
She was soft, gentle, and sweet like the dew of the morning day.

At the meager age of 4 she was taken to Heaven before her time,     
She still had many things to accomplish on earth: 
grow up, go to Proms, learn about God & become a very bright God loving light. 
But instead the Lord has chosen to take her light. 

I know not why, only that he takes her to a better place were 
She can do good deeds with her talents of beauty, love & grace. 

I am a mere human and a mother at that, 
These things are hard for me to except, after all, I want my 4 yr old, 
Haylee Girl, placed in my arms singing lullaby songs once gain, 

I want to watch her grow into the spectacular woman I know she would have been.
I want to know WHY MY CHILD?

"OUR GIRL HAYLEE"  / MeMaw (Bonnie) Easley (Loving Grandma )

 **Our Girl Haylee**

In the year 2006 on the 3 rd. day of June,
God called a little girl and he took her to soon.

"Baby Girl" we called her met Jesus that day,
We know it was His angels that carried her away. 

I know Haylee's happy in God's peaceful fold, 
Playing with Children in a mansion of gold!

As I stand alone, humbly I bow, 
I know that she's happy up there with Pop now!

Loving words by MeMaw Easley

Just Like You: by Joe Joe  / Mommy &. Joe Joe (Mom & Cousin )

The following is a paper written by my nephew Joseph Bryant. He was required to write a college entrance essay. It was to be about someone who had changed his life. I am honored to think my daughter made such a difference in his life. I also know that Haylee is looking down at Joseph and proud of the young man he is becoming. She is also humbled to know that her love for him will never be forgotten but that it helps him grow each day. She will always love him as he does her. I am so thankful for you Joseph and the love you gave to Haylee & the difference you made in her life, I love you.



                                                                             Just Like You

At four years old, the world must look a lot brighter than it does at eighteen. If it doesn’t, I will never be able to explain why my little cousins were always so happy. I’ll never understand how someone could be so intelligent for their age, but so new to concepts like death and pain.
My cousin Haylee was a “four-and-a-half” year old ball of energy. Before she passed away, she was so excited about all of the changes going on in her life. Her family had recently gotten a new house. Her mom had given birth to her younger brother, and last but not least, she was going to school.
I will never forget the first time she called me and told me she got “All A’s just like you Jo-Jo.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt that proud in my entire life. True, my report cards often reflected less than all A’s, but in Haylee’s eyes that didn’t matter. To her I was the smartest person on the planet.
Nothing anyone can say, no song, no poem, no work of art will ever express what I heard in the most precious 8 words of my life. “I want to be just like you Jo-Jo.” These words opened up my eyes to an entirely new concept. I had always gone to school, made decent grades, and lived my life in general to please my parents and friends. Suddenly, for the first time in my life I realized that I should be doing well for myself, not other people, because if I couldn’t take care of myself, how could people that looked up to me take care of themselves?
With this small sentence my cousin changed my entire outlook on life. My grades improved drastically, my attitude towards people changed, I became involved in school and church activities, and I even began to try and treat my family with more respect. I had a newfound energy to live with because I had a new reason to live: myself, and those who looked up to me, not those who expected from me.
When Haylee was taken from us I began to lose grip on things. I lost interest in doing anything at all for a few months, and then I found an old report card in my room. I remembered that I had been an inspiration to the most precious little girl on the planet, and that gave me the motivation to start rebuilding my life to what it had once been.
Words can mean different things to different people for different reasons, but to me these words will always be important for many reasons. They are important because they help me remember the past, and the good times I had with my cousin. They are important because they help me focus on today, and the tasks that I have at hand, which I need to complete to give my family and myself a better life. They are important because they help me look to the future, the life I can have with children of my own to look up to me.
These words are important because they touch every aspect of my life. Haylee said she wanted to be just like me, but in her innocence, and honesty and ability to love others through their faults, I want to be just like her. 

                                                    

VENTING SOME  / THOMAS MAZZZELLA (Daddy)
MY DAUGHTER WAS A WONDERFUL LITTLE GIRL, WHOSE SMILE BRIGHTEN A ROOM. SHE WAS  THE QUEEN BEE AND I LOVED HER AND MY SON MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. THE SAD THING IS THAT THE WAY SHE DIED WAS SO PREVENTABLE.  I FEEL LIKE  I WANT TO GRAB THE PEOPLE THAT WERE IN THE POOL AND SAY COULD YOU NOT SEE MY LITTLE GIRL STRUGGLING.  ALL ANYONE HAD TO DO WAS BE AWARE OF THEIR SURRONDINGS AND THE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE SAVED HER.  I AM SO ANGRY THAT SHE IS GONE,  ON THE OUTSIDE  I TRY TO BE THE SAME EVEN KIELED PERSON I ALWAYS AM BUT ON THE INSIDE I AM DYING.  I WANT HER BACK, TO HOLD AND LOVE AND FOR HER AND BUBBBA TO BE AT MY SIDE WHEN ITS MY TURN TO LEAVE THIS WORLD. BUT I GUESS IT WILL NEVER BE THAT WAY.      
HAYLEE, DADDY LOVES YOU VERY MUCH

Missing My Sweet Haylee Girl - ALWAYS  / Mommy To Baby Haylee Girl (Mother)
MISSING MY SWEET HAYLEE GIRL

MY SWEET HAYLEE GIRL, TODAY CONSTITUTES SIX MONTHS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GONE,
OUR PAIN HAS ONLY MULTIPLIED WITH EACH AND EVRY BREATH,
TO THE DAY OUR FAMILY STRUGGLES WITH HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR DEATH.

FROM THE BEGINGING OF YOUR CONCEPTION I LOVED YOU, AT BIRTH THE LOVE ONLY GREW,
AS I MADE PLANS TO WATCH YOU GROW AND BECOME A YOUNG WOMAN,
BUT THAT WAS NOT TO BE NOT FOR YOU AND ME,
MY MOTHERLY HEART WAS BROKEN, MY LIFE NEVER TO BE THE SAME,
I NEVER KNEW A HUMAN COULD FEEL SUCH AGONIZING PAIN.

THE WORLD JUST MOVES FORWARD,
YET HAYLEE IS STILL FOUR.
AND WE DREAM OF ALL THE THINGS,
SHE WILL NEVER DO.

SHE WILL NEVER RIDE A BUS TO SCHOOL,
OR LEARN SOMETHING NEW AND COOL,
ALL WE HAVE ARE MEMORIES,
WE’VE LOST OUR ADORED BABY GIRL. 

SHE’LL NEVER CHEER FOR THE HOME TEAM,
NEVER HAVE A FIRST KISS,
WE THINK OF ALL THOSE THINGS
SHE'S GOING TO MISS. 

NEVER GO TO COLLEGE,
NEVER WALK DOWN THE AISLE,
NEVER KNOW THE JOYS OF PARENTHOOD.
WE MISS HER ALL THE WHILE. 

REST NOW 'SWEET BABY GIRL' THERE IS NO PAIN
I KNOW YOU ARE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL ANGELS
IN YOUR PEACEFUL HOME. 

I WILL COME WITH YOU SOMEDAY
ONLY NOW IS NOT MY TIME,
THEN WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
AGAIN YOU WILL BE MINE. 

PEOPLE SAY TEARS WILL WASH AWAY THE SORROW,
DO NOT BELIEVE THIS, IT IS NOT TRUE,
AND TIME WILL NEVER WASH AWAY OUR MEMORIES.
FOR EVEN DEATH HAS NO CONTROL OVER THE BOUNDARIES OF OUR LOVE. 

I LOVE YOU,

Love Always Mommy                                  
Rememberance Stone  / Family Of Baby Girl Haylee (Family)
Baby Girl, your tombstone was placed at the cemetery on November 14, 2006. Although it is beautiful and beyond my expectations it is also bitter sweet. It holds many of your smiles and joyous expressions for all to share in. It is a celebration and memorial of your beauty and sweet spirit to last for years to come.

Our family misses you more each day. We do not and will never understand your tragic death. We are all broken and lost without your love and gentleness. We will NEVER forget you or stop loving you. However, we had this tombstone placed so that others will be reminded of what the world has lost and heaven has gained.

We love and miss you today and always. 

                                                
                                                                                                                
Her Life - too short...  / Rachel "Ray-Ray" Bryant (Forever Loving Cousin )

HER LIFE. JULY 13, 2001. SHE CAME INTO OUR LIVES. I REMEMBER THAT DAY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I WAITED FOR HER OUTSIDE OF THE DELIVERY ROOM. I WAS SOOO EXCITED I WAS GETTING A NEW COUSIN. UP UNTILL HER I WAS THE YOUNGEST.

I LOVED HER SO MUCH. ID ALWAYS PLAY WITH HER AND TICKLE HER EVEN THO SHE'D KICK AND SCREAM FOR ME TO STOP. THEN WHEN I STOPPED..SHE’D SAY.."UM RAY RAY...HOW BOUT WE DO THAT AGAIN"AND ID SAY OKAYY BABY. I CAN STILL HEAR HER SAYING "RAY RAY STOP IT!!' AND LAUGHING AS HARD AS SHE COULD..AT THE SAME TIME AND WE'D PLAY FOR HOURS. UNTILL WE GOT TO TIRED.THEN WE'D WATCH MOVIES AND PLAY GAMES.SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO WATCH DINASOUR MOVIES.SO WE ALWAYS DID. I REMEMBER I USED TO LAY IN A ROOM AND WATCH T.V. AND SHE’D COME IN AND LAY BY ME AND WHATCH IT WITH ME.. AND SAY.."RAY RAY..CAN WE WATCH SOMETHING ELSE?" SOMETIMES WE WOULD SOMETIMES WE WOULDNT..SHE’D WATCH WITH ME EITHER WAY.

I CAN REMEMBER TAKING HER TO MY SCHOOL AND I CARRIED HER AROUND..I WAS SO PROUD TO BE HER COUSIN. SHE WAS SO SMART. ONE DAY SHE WAS FLIPPING THROUGH SOME OF HER SCHOOL PAPERS SHOWING ME HER GOOD GRADES..AND SHE SAYS.."EXCELLENT [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT PLUS [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT [NEXT PAPER] EXCELLENT.[ON AND ON]" THEN SHE FLIPPED TO ONE AND EXPECTING IT TO SAY EXCELLENT..SHE SAYS "EXCELLENT" AND THEN PAUSED... AND GOT THE CUTEST MOST CONFUSED LOOK ON HER FACE AND SAID.. "UHM..THAT ONES NOT SO EXCELLENT.." IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD. I LOVE HER SO MUCH NOW AND THEN. I MISS HER IN A WAY THAT I COULD NEVER EXPLAIN. SHE MEANT SO MUCH TO ME AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HER. AND I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY SHES GONE.

HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA. 7-13-01 TILL 6-03-06 REST IN PEACE MY ANGEL...I LOVE YOU.I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED HOW COULD GOD LET A FOUR YEAR OLD DROWN? DIDNT HE SEE HER? WHAT DID SHE DO WRONG? SHE WAS SO PERFECT, SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL AND SHE LOVED EVERYONE. SHE NEVER GOT MAD AT ANY ONE AND THERE WAS NO ONE SHE DIDNT LIKE. SHE ALWAYS SHARED HER TOYS WITH HER LITTLE BROTHER AND SHE LOVED HIM SO MUCH SHE WAS SO EXCITED TO BE A BIG SISTER. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING WHEN SHE WAS UNDER THE WATER DID SHE THINK NO ONE LOVED HER AND NO ONE WANTED TO SAVE HER? OR DID SHE KNOW WHEN SHE WAS DYING? DID IT HURT? WE HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS..THAT WE WILL NEVER KNOW THE ANSWERS TO. I MEAN SHE WAS IN THE SHALLOW END. SHE COULD STAND UP IN THE SHALLOW END, SHE HAD NO BRUSIES SO NO ONE FORCED HER TO STAY UNDER. HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE TOP? IT WAS SO CLOSE TO HER..SHE KNEW SHE COULD STAND THERE AND WHY WEREN’T THOSE PEOPLE WHATCHING HER LIKE THEY TOLD HER MOM THEY WOULD?

SHE ASKED TO SWIM FOR 10 MORE MINUTES AND HER MOM HESITANTLY SAID YES AND SHE WENT INSIDE TO CHANGE HER LITTLE BRO AND PEOPLE SAID THEY’D WHATCH HER..BUT THEY WEREN’T. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO ASK FOR 10 MORE MINUTES& WHY DID HER MOM SAY YES? ITS NOT HER MOMS FAULT THO THE WORST PART I GUESS WAS THET IT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED BY ONE SIMPLE WORD SHE COULD HAVE SAID NO. DID NO ONE REALIZE SHE WAS BEING QUIET AND SHE WASNT TO BE SEEN AT THE TOP OF THE POOL? WHY DIDNT I GO TO NEW ORLEANS THAT WEEKEND? I HAD THE CHANCE, BUT NO I WANTED TO STAY HERE AND GO TO A PARTY IF I WANST SELFISH SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THAT POOL WITH HER SHE WO0ULDNT HAVE DIED AND NO ONE WOULD BE GOING THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN.

I NEVER CALLED HER BACK. MY MOM TOLD ME TWO DAYS BEFORE THIS HAPPENED TO CALL MY GRANDMA BECAUSE HAYLEE WAS AT HER HOUSE AND SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME BUT I NEVER CALLED. I NEVER GOT TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVED HER AND I NEVER GOT TO TELL HER HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE WAS AND SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL ME HOW BEAUTIFUL I LOOKED IN MY CHEERLEADING PICS, I HAD TO HEAR THAT FROM MY GRANDMA AFTER HAYLEE DIED. SHE WANTED TO BE A CHEERLEADER JUST LIKE ME WHEN SHE GREW UP SHE ALWAYS GOT SOO EXCITED WHEN SHE GOT TO GO TO MY GAMES AND WHATCH ME AND ID CARRY HER AROUND AND SHOW HER OFF. I WAS SO PROUD TO BE HER COUSIN & SHE WAS PROUD TO BE MINE SHE LOVED IT WHEN I CAME TO NEW ORLEANS..SHE WOULD SIT OUTSIDE WAITING FOR ME ALL DAY EVEN THOUGH I USUALLY WOULDNT GETT THERE TILL AFTER 10.

SHE WAS MY FAVORITE COUSIN, SHE WANTED TO LOOK LIKE ME AND ACT LIKE MY BROTHER BUT SHE CANT. SHE'S A REAL ANGEL NOW BUT I STILL LOVE HER.I GUESS THIS SHOULD JUST WAKE US UP IF YOU LOVE SOME ONE TELL THEM BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT AGE THEY ARE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THEY’RE GONNA GO... HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA/ PRINSESS/MY BABY/ HAYLEE GIRL/MIDGET/ MY ANGEL. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. YOU MADE SUCH A BIG IMPACT ON SO MANY PEOPLES LIVES. I HOPE ONE DAY I CAN LEARN TO HAVE A HEART LIKE YOU DID. I HOPE I CAN LOVE EVERYONE THE WAY YOU DID. I KNOW YOU HAD AN AMAZING LIFE.. THE BEST POSSIBLE. YOU ARE THE BEST COUSIN I COULD HAVE ASKED FOR. IM SORRY FOR EVERY TIME I DIDNT PLAY WITH YOU AND IM SO SO SO SORRY I DIDNT CALL YOU ENOUGH. I LOVE YOU AND I WILL SEE YOU IN HEAVEN ONE DAY.

I PROMISE.

LOVE RAY-RAY

(RACHEL EASLEY BRYANT – HAYLEE’S LOVING COUSIN) 

                                                                                 


Celebration of Haylee - My Love & Life  / Mommy Mazzella To Baby Angel Haylee (Mother)
MY baby girl, Haylee Mazzella, was born on July 13, 2001 and passed away on June 03, 2006 at the age of 4 due to a negligent relative that allowed her accidental drowning. Haylee loved life and everything that came with living it. She was kind, generous and loving. She was my perfect princess in every way. We shared many things: our love of makeup, dresses, playing outside, being a tomboy and loving our family.

There is not enough room to describe the pain or loss I feel without my baby girl. But I can share a few: her laughter, her hugs & kiss’s, her soft touch, the excitement she shared about living life, her beautiful innocent smile, her feet in flip flops, her love for her family, and her generous spirit that made it easy for her to love. She was special to so many.

In missing Haylee I began to mourn more and more each day. I wanted to do something that would celebrate the years of love that she had given to me. As I began to devise what type of ideas were available to me I came across a TV program, Miami Ink. A young woman, Kat, there specializes is portraits. So I made arrangements to go to Miami and consult her about a color portrait of Haylee. She agreed that the picture of Haylee I had chosen would make a great tattoo. After she stenciled it out and placed it on my back I was sure this was the ideal way of celebrating Haylee’s life & love. After Kat had finished the portrait in color I knew I had made the right decision. It was the spiting image of Haylee, my baby girl, and her loving eyes. Now she is forever captured on my shoulder to celebrate and share her gentle and loving expression to the world
..
                                               

Does She Rest - Song of Love by Joseph  / Mommy Mazzella & Joseph Bryant (Mom & Cousin )

My Sweet Baby Girl was taken from me on June 3, 2006. But she was not only taken from me she was taken from so many others who loved her dearly. 

Joseph Bryant is a 17 year old boy. He is becoming a young man and dealing with many trials in his life. He is also my nephew and the beloved cousin of Haylee. Haylee called him DoDo when she was young because she could not pronounce his name correctly. Then it became JoJo. She loved JoJo and RayRay (my niece) with all her heart. She looked forward to them coming in town or better yet going to visit them in Houston. Her passing has caused devisation in my life as well as my nieces and nephews. We do not understan why this has happened and even if we did it would not help our grief and utter devistation. 

Joseph has many talents. I beleive one day he will do great things. I know right now his life is like mine, miserable and full of pain. However, he has taken one of his talents and used it to channel his grief. He loves music. He sings, writes and plays the guitar. I am so proud of him, as was Haylee. In memory of her he has wrttien, sung and played the following song. Words can never express the pain we feel but his music might help him share his pain with others and reflect on his love for Haylee and his frustration with such a life changing event. 
I love Joseph and wish I could take away his pain but nothing ever will because we all know the loss of a loved one, especially a small innocent and loving child will never heal. We also know that the pain comes from the love we have for Haylee and we will never stop loving Haylee, never. 

The song  shows Joseph's grief and pain. It is beautiful  because I know he wrote it out of pure love for me and Haylee and I know she is listening: 
(you can go to audio to hear him sing it)


Does She Rest?

When your world collapses
and everything falls apart
And your life comes tinkling down like the
mirrored glass of my broken heart

When you can't sleep 
for fear  of just letting go
that's when your whole world stops
and time begins to slow

Can you tell me how it happened?
Was it quick?
When it happened, did she feel the pain?
My pain increases, my breathing hurts now,
but does she rest? 
Did she found the peace she'd been looking for? 


By Joseph Bryant
CD: The Heights
Band: The Fusion Band
Copyright: 2006 


A Poem For my Baby Angel  / Rachel "Ra-Ra" Bryant (Loving Cousin )
THE BOX.
Some are square,
Some are round.
Some are filled with things
That will never be found.
Some hold comfort, 
Some hold joy.
But one holds the sister,
Of a 2 year old boy.
In that box,
Is where she lays.
In that box,
Forever she will stay.
We want to hold her,
& smell her soft hair.
But inside we know,
She cant move from there.
We miss her so much,                              
Words can’t explain.
Yet we try so hard,              
To cover our pain.
We lie to ourselves,
By saying it’s a dream.
And even months later,
That’s still how it seems.
Something so young,
Lying six feet under ground.
In a silver box ,
That will never be found.
The contents of that box,
Are greatly missed.
Whats in that box,
Will never again be kissed.
That box means the world to me,
Cause inside that box…
Rests my sweet angel,
HAYLEE.
- a poem for Haylee written by Ra-Ra Haylee’s loving cousin - 

                                            
Some of the Things I miss  / Memaw Easley (Grandmother)

My Haylee Girl,
I know I'v said it before, but I want to tell you some of the things I miss about you.  I miss giving you a bath and drying you off, then smelling your clean hair.  I miss you knocking on my door every afternoon at 3:30 as you leave school and saying "Hey Memaw, it's me Haylee and Bubba too"  I miss reading to you at night after we snuggle in bed.  I miss listening to your prayers and you reminding me who I left out of mine.  I miss you reading to me as you sound out your first words.
I miss you digging for worms in my yard.  I miss us chasing salamanders. I miss swinging you in my back yard.I miss dressing you up and fixing ribbons in your beautiful hair. I really miss watching you play with Bubba.I miss you singing to your Mommie and me in the car.  I miss fixing you grilled cheese sandwiches and drinking orange drinks. I miss you asking for 'pink chockie' to drink with your pancakes.I miss holding & loving you and kissing you.I miss the the sweet look on you face when you would use our secrect sign for "I LoveYou" that you had made up ().
 I miss everything about you my sweet angel, my buddie, my girl. 
                                                                                                                      
                                                            
 
                       

How I miss You, Baby Girl  / Mommy Mazzella (Mother)
My life seems so empty without you. You were my light and love. When I had you I was so scared but once I brought you home motherhood seem to fit. You were all I cared about. Being a mother was number one. You were and are so special. Your love, laughter and gentle spirit made my life so rich and fulfilled. You gave my life a whole new meaning, a good one. I loved being your mother. I use to love when people would see us together. They would always say how beautiful you were, and they were right. You were the most beautiful child I have ever seen. I was proud and honored to be your mother. We had so much fun together. I looked forward to living everyday with you. My life had never been so exciting or full of laughter.

I loved the fact that you were so loveable. You loved life and everyone you meet during yours. Your beauty was not just skin deep it went strait to the bone. You seem to bring out the best in people. It’s as if you brightened the room and anyone who was in it. You were so free with your love. Four years was to short. I dream of all you could have been. I ask why you were taken from me, but there is no answer. I see no purpose in any of this. All I see is pain and anger. You were the best of us all. I endure my life each day but I don’t really live it. I just can’t seem to without you. I know that makes me selfish but I am only human. How I miss you each day. My pain, anger and dismay seem to get worse everyday. I wish you were here, my Sweet Baby Girl. I love you and I always will. 

Haylee's News..a song without music  / Aunt Sherry
I wrote the words to a song about the day I heard the news that Haylee was gone.  My brother called to tell me the news and at first I did not believe him, I litterally fell down on my knees in the middle of the floor and began to scream to God NO!NO!NO!  
My son, Jo-Jo, plays guitar and he will put music to the words one day but for now, this is my song and this is her mommy's song... without music.

Haylee’s News

When I first heard the news 
I fell down on my knees
Bowed my head to the floor
And I heard myself scream
This cannot be real
What they said is not true
I can’t think, I can’t feel, I don’t know what to do
I looked up toward the Heavens
And started to cry
How could my God let my baby girl die.

There’s no way to describe
The sheer panic I felt
Or recall desperate words
That I prayed as I knelt
I’ll do anything Jesus
Please don’t take my child
I kept praying and begging and crying out loud.
All my life I’ve been faithful
I’ve trusted you lord
Is this punishment now for not doing more?

My sweet angel was precious
She only knew love
She prayed every night
To her God up above
She sang songs about Jesus
She trusted his word
She was too young to die, oh my God how I hurt.
I know that she’s in Heaven
And I know we’ll meet again
But nothing on this earth will comfort me till then

I prayed for God to give me peace
Then I saw my baby boy
Her precious little brother
Who filled our lives with joy
She always felt such love for him
The way big sisters do
As God speaks to my broken heart, somehow I know it’s true
She’s in a better place today
Than she has ever been
A place where joy and peace and love are flowing with no end. 


Haylee Mazzella  / Aunt Donna Benson (Great Aunt )

  Beloved Haylee,

    I am writing  you again, because I miss you so much! I know that you hear my prayers daily and yet this feels right. So bear with your ole auntie while I talk to you again on this machine. As I speak I know that you hear the words and read my mind and heart. I believe that you are so close to us, yet we can't see you with our eyes. That makes it so hard. There are so many beautiful pictures of you still in this world, but they are not the same. Everything is a reminder of how much we have loss.
 You had a way about you that was very spunky and unique. In addition to your physical beauty, there was your radiant personality. We miss that so much!  
 We cry and pray and beg for Jesus to send us the grace to endure, and it comes, but in small doses.
  We will never forget and our lives will never be the same. You are our star in the night.  I love you, baby girl.  I will cry for you and miss you all the days that I live. 

Aunt Donna
 

MeMaw's Memories  / MeMaw Easley (Grandmother)

HAYLEE DANYELLE MAZZELLA by MeMaw 


This morning when I awoke and thought I had been in a really bad nightmare. Then I realized that it wasn’t a nightmare, but I was in reality, You are gone!

A huge part of me wants to believe that this tragic event didn’t happen and that you will come running in with your beautiful smiling face.. Every day I hope and pray that this will happen, yet my head knows it will not, even tho my heart wants it so desperately.

Haylee Danyelle Mazzella was special from the moment she was born – and oh! so beautiful inside and outside. She loved everybody and wanted everybody to love her. Her cousin, Shelby Easley, was her very best friend, although sometimes they acted more like sisters than cousins. Shelby was only five months younger than Haylee.

I kept Shelby and Haylee every Tuesday and Haylee would arrive first and at least a dozen times she would say, “When is Shelby coming?” “What is taking Shelby so long to get here?” Then when Shelby would arrive they would hug like they had not seen each other in weeks! They went to Seven Oaks Academy together for a year and Haylee always had to know which room Shelby was in,

Sonya would stop by my house almost every afternoon after school. Every day Haylee would ask if she could spend the night with me, which she did a couple of nights a week. Then we would all go to Church together on Sunday. I loved being with her.

She had a great love for books because her mother read to her from the time she was just a few months old. She was never satisfied with reading just one book, so we snuggled in bed and read two or three. .Then in her Pre-K class at Crescent City Christian School, she began to read small words and she was so proud that she could read to us.

Haylee was so happy when her baby brother, Thomas IV, was born. She became like a little mother to him plus playmate and protector,.

She was such a happy, loving gentle little girl. I just don’t understand why God took her from us. She radiated love in every aspect of her short life and brought such joy to so many people

The day she died was the coldest, darkest day of my life and a part of me died along with her. It’s so hard to face each new day knowing she is gone. My grief is so intense that I am unable to even help Sonya and Tommy during this time. I can’t imagine what they must be going through when I, as her grandmother, feel the way I do…So I can only hold them and love them and ask for peace somewhere down the road.

People tell me that she is not really out there in the cemetery, but that she is in Heaven. I know that she is in Heaven, but that precious little body that I held, loved, kissed, smelled, caressed, and cuddled is in the cemetery!


I had no idea that grief could be so intense and shattering. My heart is like a raw, open, bleeding sore, unable to heal. It’s worse than any pain I could ever imagine and continues to get worse every day.

I adored you Haylee Girl and I know you adored me. Our relationship was unique and beautiful and I treasure every moment of your short life.

I’ll see you in Heaven soon, my darling Angel, so save me a room in your mansion. I love you My Girl, My Buddy, My Sweet Angel – forever and forever.


Written by a very sad and broken hearted grandmother,
MeMaw
(Bonnie Easley)




Getting Harder Every Day.  / Grieving Mommy Mazzella (Mommy)
Baby Girl,

It gets harder everyday. We take for granted that our 4 year olds will turn 5 and go to kindergarten. I don’t like to leave the house but sometimes I must. When I do I cry and get angry at all of the mothers shopping for their child’s school supplies. I want the world to stop and feel the pain of loosing you. I want them to not feel right about just moving on. I know that unreasonable but my pain over whelms me and I can’t help how I feel. I also know you wouldn’t want me to be so bitter and angry but it’s hard for me baby girl, so hard.

You were so excited about going to kindergarten and getting to graduate at the end of the year. You were also so excited that you and JoJo would graduate (he’s a senior) in the same year. I told you could get your pictures taken together in your cap and gown; you were so excited you could not wait. Just another thing you will miss. It seems that all comes to my mind theses days is all the things we had planned and all of them you will miss. All that I will miss watching grow through. You were my life; we wrapped our lives around our children. To take one away shatters that whole plan and unity. We feel lost and alone all the time. I wish I could change that day, and be able to watch you grow up. I love you more everyday of my life. I hope you know that.
So Lonely !  / Sonya Mazzella (Mommy)
Baby Girl,

I am so lonely for you and without you. Today MemMaw and Aunt Sherry gave me a locket. It has your name engraved on it and when you open it it has your beautiful dance picture and a locket of your hair. You are already with me all day every day but now I have a reminder of your beauty to show to everyone.

 feel like my life has stopped without you. I don't understand how my 4 year old could be taken from me. I would gladely take your place. I hope I am strong enough to raise your brother and love him the way I know you would want me too. I love you now and always. I hope you know how much you are loved and missed. I also hope you new it before you were taken.


Love,

Grieving Mommy

                                    
Missing You More  / Mommy &. Daddy (Loving/Grieving Parents )
Baby Girl, Today is mommy and daddy's 9 year anniversary. It seems like we have nothing to celebrate since we have lost our gift of you. We miss you more and more everyday and wonder how we will ever overcome our pain, grief and emptiness, or if we will. Some say you learn to deal with the pain but I believe that if I am going to feel pain like this for the rest of my life I hope it is a short life. I am hollow on the inside and walking around like an empty shell, I loved you more than I ever thought possible and I truly hope you knew that. I tried to be a good mother but somehow failed by allowing others to take charge of you when I should have. Perhaps one day you will forgive me. As for me forgiveness will never come. I will grieve and mourn your loss the rest of my days and never forgive my self for not being their when you needed me most. I love you now and always my Baby Girl.
Movie Stars  / Sherry Bryant (Loving Aunt )
I love the movie clips that your Mommy attached to the site.  The one's with Jo-Jo and Ray-Ray are precious because you are laughing and loving every minute of playtime.  I took those mini movies with Jo-Jo's cell phone just a few weeks before you left this earth to become an angel in Heaven.  We will always cherish the memories that those video clips captured of you loving laugh and smile.  We all love you and miss you baby girl.
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